some lame poetry...

I want to write from the heart

I want these damn poems to bleed

free my coronary valves of their insecurity and shake the depressing shackles that bound them to limits

because I am tired

of looking in the mirror and not realizing who the fuck I am

Hiding behind half felt smiles and telling myself you'll never end up like her and praying to god that one day she comes back.

but I am sick and tired of waiting.



I want to write from the heart

I want these damn poems to bleed.



Honoring a poetic prowess of fingers dancing along keyboards because this is the only way I feel

because I feel alone. naked and vulnerable to the shadows that are consuming me.

Looking up to the sky and wondering can God really hear me.

Because I am tired of praying

for everyone in this world to love one another like family but

I am one mad man standing alone speaking to deaf ears

but who am I but some man enslaved to the affection of women.

Writing poetry half drunk to somehow get a clearer image of myself

and what went a wrong

because half way through this poem their is no blood and a tear hasn't fallen because

my heart doesn't function the way it used to

I can't smile like a child anymore

My lips are calloused from words uttered and affected by self ego

because I am standing in crowded rooms screaming to unnoticed by standers "do you know who the fuck I am"

these frail arms are trying to shake sense of morality into these lifeless passerby's but I'm not strong enough to help.

I want to write a poem where a whole crowd snaps like lightning and thunder and where men go home and are content with a good night kiss from their true one and only.

I want to write my way into the hearts of millions so that they can carry bits of my soul long after I have retired my body.

I want to write a poem that bleeds purity of the art form

langston and Woolf will look down from their places among the heavens and smile upon my good works



but I am 18 years old, drunk in my apartment. orchestrating a elegant cry for help