english assignment.

defining myself in a poem. I hope you like it but if you don't i'm ok with that either

I am Jake Tellkamp
I am bringing more mediocrity to humanity
I am cold beach parking lot showers and rocket power
I am the laugh in a tense moment
I am the last appetizer on a tray.
I am a wombat in search of a hole
Comfortable in the dirt
Content on his own path.
I am denace the menace
I am about the stamps in the passport
I am the unwanted choice on the airplane in-flight menu
I am not a wall flower but more like a wall bush or an orchid. I’m just too short to be a tree.
I am about joining the navy seals so I can be the world’s best bird watcher
I am sarcasm and eating foreign delicacies
I am as filling to your soul as the dollar menu at McDonalds when all you have is a quarter

I am not capable of resurrecting your dead hamster
I am not prince charming
I am not going to hold your hand through the scary parts rather scream along with you
I am incapable of not sleep talking
I am not a member of the national rifle association; hugs not drugs
I am not cuddly and I do not resemble your celebrity crush
I in now way shape or form your own personal brand of heroin
I am neither team Edward or Jacob
I am not going to order a carmel mochafrappucino grande because I have self dignity
I am not into soy milk
I am not Bradd pitt
I am Jake Tellkamp